by Anneice Jones Robin

Special to The Dreher Report

Just finished talking to a friend. She has a newborn and people are pressuring her already to have another baby. I encouraged her to follow her heart and not allow others to butt into her uterus. I honestly believe if more women talked about all what happens with pregnancy and postpartum, that more women would choose not to have children.

The changes a woman’s body undergoes to bring a life into this world are truly amazing, but they are terrifying and life/body altering for many as well. So, when some mothers rush to work off that baby fat, don’t just brush off their frustrations or impatience. Know that many times it’s not even about the weight, but it may be a mother’s effort to regain once again a sense of normalcy and familiarity she had with her body before pregnancy.

Settle in. This is about to be TMI. Oh, well. I still would choose to have children but more knowledge about pregnancy and postpartum would have served me well. Like, I am about to be 8 months postpartum, and my organs and abdomen feel bruised to the touch on the inside. Every time I try to do any ab work, I feel like I’m about to tear something. My C-section has caused the skin on my stomach below my belly button to have very little feeling. My muscles were strained during my firstborn’s delivery. I have to have surgery on my rectum. Why? Because I can’t have a complete bowel movement most times without doing an anal douche.

I honestly believe if more women talked about all what happens with pregnancy and postpartum, that more women would choose not to have children.

Stop asking women “when will they have children?” or “That’s the first one; when are going to get the second one? You know you ain’t no spring chicken.” You don’t know if they even want to have children. You don’t know what it took for them to have the child or children they currently have. You don’t know if they can have children. You don’t know if their lives are set up in a way that they feel comfortable having them.

The changes a woman’s body undergoes to bring a life into this world are truly amazing, but they are terrifying and life/body altering for many as well.

I was guilty of making these same asking points for a very long time. Then I began to think what if people asked “so when are you going to buy a house?” or “You should quit teaching, because you’re so good at [fill in the blank]” or “you would be an amazing [fill in the blank]” or “When are you going to get a PhD? You ain’t no spring chicken.” These questions speak to the whole woman; they speak to life outside of the womb.

I mean the world thinks it has a right to butt into a woman’s uterus and the right to tell her what to do with it.

To all my friends: If I’ve ever butted into your uterus, please forgive me.

Anneice Robin Jones is an English Language Arts Teacher (ELA) at Korea International School JeJu and Teacher at Mansfield ISD. She is from Omaha, Nebraska. A mother of two boys, she is married to Tremuir Robin.